While generally celebrated as a season filled with joy, festivities, and gratitude, this time of year can also compound feelings of loneliness and isolation—especially for those missing their loved ones.
Sr. Superintendent Toby Bender has seen it firsthand. For the last few years, he’s spent the holidays at MorningStar Memory Care at San Tomas in San Jose, where his wife Bernadette works closely with the assisted living facility’s senior residents as director of memory care. Together, Toby and Bernadette have served snacks, played games, and simply listened to music with countless MorningStar residents who would have otherwise spent the holidays alone.
With the holidays quickly approaching, Toby and Project Manager Saurabh Bisen decided to organize a volunteer trip to MorningStar with their Santa Clara Valley Medical Center (SCVMC) Behavioral Health Services Center (BHSC) Exteriors team. Connecting with their local senior community was the perfect way to take advantage of Webcor’s annual volunteer hours, bond with their teammates, and kick off the holiday season.
“Every year, we enthusiastically support food banks, toy drives for kids, and winter clothing collections for the unhoused—all wonderful causes,” Saurabh says. “However, senior living facilities are usually less frequented during the holidays, despite being home to many who may be away from their families. We wanted to do something special for our cherished elders, so we organized our team visit to MorningStar.”
On Nov. 15, MorningStar staff members welcomed the Exteriors team at the facility’s front entrance before escorting them to their community room, where residents were eagerly waiting. The team wasted no time diving right into MorningStar’s activities—Sudoku puzzles, catch games, card games, group word puzzles, art projects, and lively rounds of ring toss and balloon tennis.
“The seniors embraced every activity with pure happiness,” Saurabh says. “Whether sharing a smile over a solved Sudoku puzzle, cheering during a lively game of balloon tennis, or watching their creativity shine through their paintings and keychains, it was heartwarming to share in their genuine excitement and enthusiasm.”
After the Exterior team’s visit, Bernadette and Morning Star’s executive director shared that they hadn’t seen the community room filled with so much palpable joy in quite some time. It was a refreshing change of pace for the seniors, who typically spend their days alone, with one another, or with visiting family members.
“We loved seeing their faces light up with laughter throughout our time together,” Saurabh says. “It was humbling to witness their gratitude and realize that small gestures of kindness can create meaningful bonds.”
To Saurabh, that was what stood out the most: the total ease with which they connected to the seniors. It didn’t matter that they were strangers from different generations; they were completely enraptured by MorningStar residents’ intriguing, often heartwarming stories detailing memories and adventures from decades past.
Some may be uncomfortable with the idea of visiting an assisted living facility—they’re nervous they’ll fail to connect, say the wrong thing, or have no idea what to say at all. Saurabh advises anyone feeling that way to let go of that pressure and simply go into the experience with an open mind and kind heart. It will be more than enough.
“If you’re not sure what to say, start the conversation with simple, light topics like hobbies, favorite memories, or current events,” he says. “They love to share stories! Focus on being present rather than saying the ‘perfect’ thing. You’ll quickly find that your time and attention mean more to them than words.”
“A special shout-out goes to Sr. Dept. Support Manager Diane Oliver and Sr. Field Administration Manager Jan Yi for their thoughtful contributions to our event!” Saurabh says. “They provided us with Webcor swag including stress balls, playing cards, and many other items that were an absolute hit among the seniors. The smiles on their faces as they played with all the swag items were priceless, adding an extra layer of joy to our visit.”
Only five people were permitted to visit MorningStar at once. Those five members from the SCVMC BHSC Exteriors team included:
